rites of passage

May 2013

You, who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a goodbye … Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Deja Vu 1970

I had dinner at the Gramercy Tavern with my daughter a few years ago. She was 24 at the time and just out of school. Like a lot of kids, she was an excellent student; a Rhodes Scholar candidate and she graduated magna cum laude with a triple major in classics, philosophy and English. She could read Greek like I read the WSJ. Whenever we got together we usually talked about her job in the sales pit at Yelp and her career.

"Dad," she said. "I don't know what to do. Everyone on the sales team lies. I need to make a quota but I just can't lie to people like they do, and they sell 5 times more than I do." I nodded thinking, Idealism is a bitch.  

"Look Rach", I said, "You're 24 years old. If a man came up to me and offered me a billion dollars or being 24 again what do you think I'd take?" Twenty four she smiled. "If he offered 2 billion or 34?' Thirty four. Of course. "Exactly," I said with gentle emphasis.

“You’re in the prime of your life. Just play it straight and roll with the punches. Even if you don’t make your quota you can’t lose. Later in life you’ll need make deals. Some you won’t agree with. Some you won’t believe in but you’ll do them because you have to. It doesn’t mean you’re cheater or a crook. Just draw a line you can live with and stay on the right side of it.”

I could tell she wasn’t buying it. “They’re going fire me if I don’t make my quota.”

We were drinking champagne and the evening was underway. Elegant diners and glitterati crowded the bar. I thought back to when I was in my 20s in the 70s trying to find truth in the bottom of the gold pit.